Saturday, January 30, 2016

A few one liners

One liners interest me a lot. A few that caught my fancy, follows:

 Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open
A man not having a wife is incomplete. And once he has a wife, he’s finished!
Every problem comes with a solution, if it isn't then its a ....... girl.
Never laugh at your wife's choices... you're one of them.
There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
I know 25 letters of the alphabet … I don’t know why
God must love the common people, he made so many of them
Budget: A method for going broke methodically
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Every man/woman should marry – After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems…but then again, neither does milk.
Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered
Team work is grearly desirable; you can always put the blame on someone else.
I work to buy a car to go to work.
Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them...
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.
Death need not concern us because when we exist death does not, and when death exists we do not.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.
Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
All are lunatics, but he who is able to analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.